Who am I?

For so many years a Mother is known only as Mikes Mom or Michelle's Mom, or JD or Liz's Mom. As a  Mom,  your Children is all the identification needed.  And its all good.

When seated or standing at one of the kids functions, and introductions are made, simply stating whose parent you are, is all that is necessary. An instant understanding between us adults.

Now my Children are all adults, with their own Mom and Dad, identifications. Leaving me with, What?

Yes, I am still a Wife and that identification is there. But, honestly, cooking dinner and washing dirty socks, is not quite as full filling as Motherhood was.

I am also a Daughter, a Sister, and a Grandmother. In all honesty, those roles, are not as fulfilling either.

Granny, Grandma, Heyma, are the terms used by my youngest generation. I don't care what they call me, just with they would call me! I struggle with this identity. Would love to have them over, because they want to spend time with me. Working on a project, or simply just talking or playing is so nice and I truly live for times like that.

However, as these youngster's, enter the tween or teen years, its more of a battle. Walk in the door and head for the computers. The only time I hear Grandma, is when a site or game they are attempting to play, will not load. Or perhaps when they get hungry.  Any attempt to distract them does not go well.

Oh, maybe we will just stay out of the house. Run to the store perhaps? No, that leads to the buy me this or buy me that struggles. I have no problems getting them a treat along the lines of a new toy, or reading material, or even candy of some sort.  Its the I need new shoes, I don't have any socks, or even once, it was a 99.99 , plush animal bed pillow??? Seriously. 

We even went so far as to purchase a game system . A Wii. No interest in that either.

Kids in this age group are so stimulated, that a quiet evening at Grandmas is more like punishment.

So, the Grandma identity, is not going so well.

Not sure where life's twist and turns will guide me next. I do have a need to get re- focused.

That was lost two years ago , with the diagnosis of Cancer.  Apparently, I am not going to die. Its time to get off my duff,  find myself, and do something.

Ring Ring Ring

So today, AT&T finally got the call. Yep, I disconnected my home telephone service. It took me a year to make that final decision.

Our kids and other family members have used the cell phones almost exclusively for the last few years.



The majority of calls on the home phone were either Robo, calls, where some computer dials up a set of numbers, and delivers a recorded message, politicians, or the wonderful world of CHARITIES, soliciting money.



So I say to you:

If you have massive CREDIT CARD DEBT, the NATIONAL RIFFLE ASSOCIATION, may contact the SUSAN B. COLEMAN BREAST CANCER FOUNDATION, who may contact the FRATERNAL ORDER OF POLICE, or even the STATE TROOPERS FOUNDATION, to notify me. IF, all else fails, I am sure the DEMOCRATIC PARTY, knows how to get in touch with us! 

Too much or Too much?

On Friday, March 11, 2011 a huge earthquake hit Japan. This resulted in what is becoming the worst disaster that country has ever seen. For the first time,tsunami waves were documented rolling across the countryside, 6 miles inland they rolled. Destroyed everything in site, then rolled back out, taking many lives and property on out to sea.

Now, there is an issue with that countries Nuclear plants. Two of them are in danger of overheating, thus the possibility of a meltdown.

Like 911, I found myself glued to the TV. Watching the images, over and over. Having enough, of the repeated pictures and stories, nothing new was being shown, I finally changed the channel.

There I was greeted by stories of a firestorm, right here in Oklahoma. Many homes throughout our state were lost, close to fifty was one count.  My friend lives in one of the areas. I will wait to hear if her place was spared, but , I know, she will be extremely busy regardless, as she works as a insurance office manager.

If this were not enough, the news also greets us with word of yet another massacre in Mexico. It seems this has become a daily occurrence.

So, I ask , are were being forced by the news, in the way of instant coverage, to be desensitized to all the tragedies throughout the world?

Or, are you like me. Its just too much to digest in one sitting?

Spring is in the Air...Finally

So very glad to watch a weather forecast this time of year. Seeing highs of 50's and 60's was only but a dream a few short weeks ago.

I have bulbs to plant, a hedge to take out, and houseplants in serious need of re potting. All it takes for motivation, sunshine.

It was a long, harsh winter. I feel as though parts of me died, similar to last years growth on my rosebush.

Don't misunderstand. I do not grieve. Time comes to claim many hopes and dreams, wishful thinking, regret, unrequited love. I release this freely. Sometimes in life, you realize, its not worth the struggle to keep it all alive. 

Have you ever come to a place in your life where your just content being who you are?  There will always be those in your lives who are not happy with ones choices, but, think of it this way. Were you put on this earth to be all things to those people? I was not and I have finally realized, no matter how hard you try to please some people, others will continue to be disappointed, and yet others, will never be happy with who you are.

Yes, I have narrowed down those who will share in my life's journey.  The doors are not closed and locked. Others my join me in this hike at any time. My only requirement, acceptance.